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As you know, Mike Stearns, the MyHusbandNeedsAJob.com guy, sent me an email in response to my blog posts about him. He wasn't particularly happy about the posts, of course - he used words like "angry", "presumptuous", "outlandish and unfair" and capped it with the popular accusatory "people like you" statement.
48 hours later, the original MyHusbandNeedsAJob.com site turned into a blog, ostensibly so that Mike can capitalize on the traffic his site has generated to create a community of job-seekers. However, never one to run when he can walk, Mike hasn't yet actually populated the site with any content other than the introductory paragraph.
The whole thing got me thinking.
I initially followed Mike's story because I thought it was kind of interesting - sure, it was a gimmick, but in terms of personal branding, it was a good try. As time went on and Mike still didn't seem to have a job, I kind of felt sorry for him: It's gotta suck when you get all kinds of media attention but it doesn't actually deliver the results you want.
But I'm not feeling so sorry for him any more. And I'm thinking that fellow ERE member Matt Cheek had it right when he wrote "Some people find ways to stay unemployed...." in response to my post.
Do job-seekers like Mike really know how they're sabotaging themselves? Do they even realize they're doing it?
I suppose the real answers to these questions are more the purview of my sister, the therapist, than me. For those chronic job-seekers disinclined to months of therapy, however, I offer the following helpful insights:
WHY YOU'RE STILL UNEMPLOYED
- You're a little delusional about the message you're sending
One of the most telling comments Mike made in his email to me was "You know nothing of how or why I came up with the idea and set up the site."
Um...what? Have you seen the homepage of your website? It says how and why you and your wife came up with the site. WHY: "This site was born out of frustration with the job market." HOW: "I decided to take matters into my own hands and help him stand out in a sea of unemployed."
This defensive disconnect is probably the #1 problem among chronically unsuccessful job-seekers, who seem to think that potential employers should be telepaths or transformational grammarians . You're right that recruiters and potential employers don't know you: At the initial contact stage, all they've got to go on are the messages you're sending them (resume, cover letter, website, whatever).
Which leads us to #2... - You're blaming the wrong people
If, say, Nike makes a tv commercial for running shoes that leaves me with the impression that their shoes are overpriced and unappealing, Nike doesn't blame me for not buying the shoes. They go back to the drawing board to try to come up with an ad that communicates their message (that their shoes are well-priced and appealing) more effectively.
If your resume - or website, for that matter - is giving your target audience (i.e. recruiters, employers) the wrong impression, stop blaming the target audience. Go change the message.
- You're not being objective about yourself
Anyone who's ever said "But seriously, do I really look like that?" after seeing a particularly bad photo of themselves knows that achieving true objectivity about oneself is about as attainable as finding the magical ferry boat to Avalon.
But that's what friends are for: Get them to take a look at your resume, cover letter - even your interview outfit - and give you some honest feedback. Then, for good measure, ask someone who doesn't know you for their feedback, too. There's a reason that advertisers like Nike use focus groups to avoid issues like #2, above.
Sure, even constructive criticism can sting. But the soothing balm of employment is remarkably effective at taking away the pain.
BONUS TIP: If one person gives you 'negative' feedback that you don't agree with, you can probably ignore it as the ravings of a madman. If, on the other hand, 12 people say the same thing, you might want to at leastconsider revising your approach.
- You're taking it too personally
One of the comments Mike made in his email was that I was being "outlandish and unfair" to "judge" him without "ever having met [me]."
Um...what? As a job-seeker, everything you put out there in the course of your job search - resume, email, voicemail, or, in Mike's case, a website - is an advertisement for you and your services. Employers and recruiters use these 'advertisements' to make judgements about who to contact for an interview. In fact, if they weren't using them to make judgements, there'd be no need for them - because everyone would get an interview.
BONUS TIP: You may be surprised to learn that recruiters and hiring managers are not, in fact, soulless evil automatons whose only goal is to make you feel like an unemployable halfwit. They're just busy.
- Recruiters are better than dogs at reading non-verbal cues
Remember the candidate whose nail-biting made recruiters reluctant to present her to the client, even though she was smart, articulate, and well-qualified?
It's not just about the content of your resume or the actual words you say in an interview. Great recruiters have an almost uncanny ability to make accurate assessments based on little details that may not even occur to you: Phone the recruiter even though the job ad specifically says 'no phone calls'? You're demonstrating that you think rules don't apply to you or you can't follow directions. Screaming baby in the background while you're doing a pre-scheduled phone interview? You're demonstrating you're not all that interested in the job on offer - because if you were, you'd have found someone to look after the baby for an hour.
Here's another little thought to leave you with: Ever noticed that the people you'd most like to be friends with - i.e. the ones who aren't delusional, prone to blaming others, have a sense of humour about themselves, don't take everything so personally, and just have a good 'vibe' about them - are the ones least likely to be unemployed for any length of time?
Just saying.
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