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Dear Candidates: This is why you didn't get the job follow this blog post

Think this blog post is 100% wrong?
Tell me why on the "I totally disagree with Sarah" page. 

As you know, Mike Stearns, the MyHusbandNeedsAJob.com guy, sent me an email in response to my blog posts about him.  He wasn't particularly happy about the posts, of course - he used words like "angry", "presumptuous", "outlandish and unfair" and capped it with the popular  accusatory "people like you" statement.  

 

48 hours later, the original MyHusbandNeedsAJob.com site turned into a blog, ostensibly so that Mike can capitalize on the traffic his site has generated to create a community of job-seekers.  However, never one to run when he can walk, Mike hasn't yet actually populated the site with any content other than the introductory paragraph.

 

The whole thing got me thinking.

 

I initially followed Mike's story because I thought it was kind of interesting - sure, it was a gimmick, but in terms of personal branding, it was a good try.  As time went on and Mike still didn't seem to have a job, I kind of felt sorry for him:  It's gotta suck when you get all kinds of media attention but it doesn't actually deliver the results you want.

 

But I'm not feeling so sorry for him any more.  And I'm thinking that fellow ERE member Matt Cheek had it right when he wrote "Some people find ways to stay unemployed...." in response to my post.

 

Do job-seekers like Mike really know how they're sabotaging themselves?  Do they even realize they're doing it?  

 

I suppose the real answers to these questions are more the purview of my sister, the therapist, than me.  For those chronic job-seekers disinclined to months of therapy, however, I offer the following helpful insights:

 

WHY YOU'RE STILL UNEMPLOYED

 

  1. You're a little delusional about the message you're sending
    One of the most telling comments Mike made in his email to me was "You know nothing of how or why I came up with the idea and set up the site."

    Um...what?  Have you seen the homepage of your website?  It says how and why you and your wife came up with the site.   WHY:  "This site was born out of frustration with the job market."  HOW:  "I decided to take matters into my own hands  and help him stand out in a sea of unemployed."  

    This defensive disconnect is probably the #1 problem among chronically unsuccessful job-seekers, who seem to think that potential employers should be telepaths or transformational grammarians .  You're right that recruiters and potential employers don't know you:  At the initial contact stage, all they've got to go on are the messages you're sending them (resume, cover letter, website, whatever).  

    Which leads us to #2...
  2. You're blaming the wrong people
    If, say, Nike makes a tv commercial for running shoes that leaves me with the impression that their shoes are overpriced and unappealing, Nike doesn't blame me for not buying the shoes.  They go back to the drawing board to try to come up with an ad that communicates their message (that their shoes are well-priced and appealing) more effectively.

    If your resume - or website, for that matter - is giving your target audience (i.e. recruiters, employers) the wrong impression, stop blaming the target audience.  Go change the message.
     
  3. You're not being objective about yourself
    Anyone who's ever said "But seriously, do I really look like that?" after seeing a particularly bad photo of themselves knows that achieving true objectivity about oneself is about as attainable as finding the magical ferry boat to Avalon.  

    But that's what friends are for:  Get them to take a look at your resume, cover letter - even your interview outfit - and give you some honest feedback.  Then, for good measure, ask someone who doesn't know you for their feedback, too.  There's a reason that advertisers like Nike use focus groups to avoid issues like #2, above.

    Sure, even constructive criticism can sting.  But the soothing balm of employment is remarkably effective at taking away the pain.

    BONUS TIP:  If one person gives you 'negative' feedback that you don't agree with, you can probably ignore it as the ravings of a madman.  If, on the other hand, 12 people say the same thing, you might want to at leastconsider revising your approach. 
     
  4. You're taking it too personally
    One of the comments Mike made in his email was that I was being "outlandish and unfair" to "judge" him without "ever having met [me]."

    Um...what?  As a job-seeker, everything you put out there in the course of your job search - resume, email, voicemail, or, in Mike's case, a website - is an advertisement for you and your services.  Employers and recruiters use these 'advertisements' to make judgements about who to contact for an interview.  In fact, if they weren't  using them to make judgements, there'd be no need for them - because everyone would get an interview. 

    BONUS TIP:  You may be surprised to learn that recruiters and hiring managers are not, in fact, soulless evil automatons whose only goal is to make you feel like an unemployable halfwit.  They're just busy.  

     
  5. Recruiters are better than dogs at reading non-verbal cues
    Remember the candidate whose nail-biting made recruiters reluctant to present her to the client, even though she was smart, articulate, and well-qualified?

    It's not just about the content of your resume or the actual words you say in an interview.  Great recruiters have an almost uncanny ability to make accurate assessments based on little details that may not even occur to you:  Phone the recruiter even though the job ad specifically says 'no phone calls'?  You're demonstrating that you think rules don't apply to you or you can't follow directions.  Screaming baby in the background while you're doing a pre-scheduled phone interview?  You're demonstrating you're not all that interested in the job on offer - because if you were, you'd have found someone to look after the baby for an hour.
     

Here's another little thought to leave you with:  Ever noticed that the people you'd most like to be friends with - i.e. the ones who aren't delusional, prone to blaming others, have a sense of humour about themselves, don't take everything so personally, and just have a good 'vibe' about them - are the ones least likely to be unemployed for any length of time?

Just saying.

 

 

 

10 comments

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  • 1 point 51 days ago

    Sarah,

    I really hope this isn't taken to negatively, because it certainly isn't meant to be read that way.

    Personally, I think you should leave the poor guy alone. Though your points are valid, this is the 3rd (on my count) blog written about him.

    I would like everyone to look at it from this perspective: He's not blasting (from what I've seen) Hiring Mgrs, Recruiters, agencies, etc... He's blasting via personal email... Sarah. Let's face it, you write negative blogs about him and he responds privately.

    While I agree w/ all of the points you mention above, I say its time to put this 'myhusbandneedsajob.com' issue to rest.

  • 1 point 50 days ago

    I hear you, Scott - and to be honest that was one of my concerns:  that these blogs would be taken as a diatribe against this guy personally rather than an object lesson in bad habits.

    But you won't see any more blogs about him.

  • 1 point 52 days ago

    Amen Sarah.

    What are some suggestions that we might have to help people get over the frustration, anger and hurt they are feeling? I know therapy should help, but are there other ways that people can overcome that step in the process quickly? 

  • 1 point 53 days ago

    Good post Sarah!

    Many job seekers in the current climate have two key "opportunities" to overcome:

    • Their job seeking skill set is rusty at best, broken at worst
    • Their own attitude

    I answered a question on LinkedIn a few weeks ago, of what in text seemed a nice, reasonable, hard working guy. I decided to help him, picked up the phone and called him in Chicago from Europe: within 30seconds I knew why he was still unemployed. No idea what he wanted to do long term, bitter attitude to recruiters and employers who had rejected him - and the worst telephone interview manner I had ever come across.

    Job seekers have to get over being out of employment to get into employment (the bitterness problem); and have to be open to learning. Other wise, we know why they wre unemployed - but when will they?

    Good Luck!

  • 1 point 58 days ago

    I totally agree, Kelly:  'Bitterness' is a HUGE obstacle that can add MONTHS to a job search.  

    The problem is that it's a vicious cycle, of course:  You start with the 'defensive disconnect' I referred to (i.e. you start to get so defensive that your communications with recruiters become disconnected, as when Mike accused me of knowing "nothing" about him, even though his website had, in fact, provided a whole lot of info about him), and then with each successive negative interaction, the bitterness grows until no one wants to be in the same room with you, let alone actually hire you.

    It happened to me in my early 20s, actually:  I really wanted a job in advertising, but after 2 months of schlepping to one headhunting agency after another - EVERY ONE of which made me take typing tests, computer tests, spelling tests, and then sent me out to interview for secretarial jobs that they'd tried to spin as 'marketing' - I finally found myself sitting in front of this junior recruiter, ranting at some length about "If you can't find me a job in advertising or communications or marketing, just tell me now.  Don't make me spend 3 hours doing data entry tests and then try to talk me into taking a paralegal job because that's all you've got on the books!  I'm done wasting my time!"

    The irony?

    He had a client - a creative director at a big-name ad agency - who'd gone through, like, 4 assistants in the previous 6 months because he (the creative director) was a total nutjob.  After my little rant, he (the recruiter) figured that I was ALSO a nutjob, and he sent me on the interview.  

    I was hired 48 hours later, and it turned out to be one of the best jobs I ever had!

     

  • 1 point 58 days ago

    Interesting points, Sarah. I've also noticed that is seems to be the most "bitter" candidates who remain unemployed the longest. Or, the ones who place blame on all sorts of unrelated issues, instead of facing the possibility that they might want to consider modifying something with their approach.

    If any job seeker goes for an extended period of time with out any "action" or tangible results from their their search efforts, they really do need to take an objective look at where they can step it up.

  • 1 point 59 days ago

    Interesting post.  Getting people to have better "mirror" (seeing themselves as others see them) is a great first step towards a successful search.

     

    Nicely written!

     

    Laura

    laura@OnboardingGenY.com

  • 1 point 59 days ago

    Great read.  :)  Agree with 5 points whole heartedly.

  • 1 point 52 days ago

    Dead on.  The ones who need the coaching the most are almost always the least receptive.  I've tried a few times.  Usually regretted it.   Now, when I see these toxic types, I just annotate and move on.

  • 1 point 51 days ago

    I used to feel so sorry for these people - there was also the guy who spent $15k on a "Hire Me!" billboard in downtown Toronto, and I felt totally sorry for him, too - and didn't like when other recruiters just rolled their eyes and said "you'll hate him when he gets here...".

    I thought they were being jaded and cynical.

    But now I know what they meant.

    The MyHusbandNeedsAJob.com guy STILL hasn't updated his blog.  What  a hard worker.