Three weeks ago I left my job in Virginia to relocate to Illinois with my husband. Prior to moving, my friends soothed my fear of the job search process. ”Don’t worry,” they said, “you’ll find a job.” This epithet was followed by the ever faithful reassurance, “You’ll need a few weeks to settle in anyway. You will be glad you aren’t working.” I cringed each time I heard the same well-meaning phrases, knowing that it had only been a year ago that I said those very same words to a good friend when she followed her husband to California. Oh the luxury of being employed and advising the soon to be unemployed.

My first few days as part of the unemployed masses were tolerable, laced with only a few stray moments of uneasiness. It was not until a Monday afternoon nearly a week after I left my job that I first panicked. The night before my husband had lovingly gone over things that needed to be done the next week, knowing all too well my need to feel busy. Because of this conversation, I woke up Monday morning feeling good. I was a woman on a mission.

First on my list was picking up a trash can. 10:00am – check. Next came grocery shopping. 11:45am – check. Finally, it was time to pick out curtains. Ever the bargain hunter, I started at TJ Maxx. No luck. With the help of a handy GPS, I realized that there was a Home Goods 10 miles away. Great – it was only 12:45 and I was still feeling good. After wondering the isles of Home Goods for 30 minutes and not coming into contact with as much as a curtain rod, I broke my own “don’t ask for help” rule, and asked a sour-faced sales associate where the curtains were. “Sorry” she intoned,” we don’t sell curtains here.”

As I made my way through rows of multi-colored beach towels, I realized there was not a single man in the store. Everywhere I looked there were women. Women measuring couches, women talking on cell phones, women with sleeping babies, women with crying babies, women wrinkling their brows as they contemplated whether the yellow tablecloth or green tablecloth would go better with their patio umbrella. It was 1:30pm on a Monday afternoon and somehow I had managed to find half of the town’s unemployed women – and they were all shopping.

It was then that I panicked. It occurred to me that if something didn’t change, this would be my future – shopping. I exited the store with a new resolve. When I had left my previous employer, I did what most “experienced non-managers” (as Monster likes to call them) do – I posted my resume on CareerBuilder and Monster, applied to more openings than I had fingers and toes, and waited for my phone to ring. This was ironic, as I had spent many months coaching RIFed employees to everything but that – and yet it was the first thing I did. The “curtain incident,” as I like to call it, was a sharp reminder as to why I needed to learn to take my own advice.

The truth is that the worst thing that any unemployed job seeker can do is PAW:

POST their resume

APPLY to jobs

WAIT for the phone to ring

Why? Because while you are engaging in PAW, there are other job seekers doing something different: PAR. There was a segment of my competition that had also posted their resumes and applied to jobs, but while I was waiting for the phone to ring, they were taking the future into their own hands and working to remain RELEVANT. They were attending local association meetings, reading HR books, commenting on ERE blogs, starting their own blogs, earning new certifications, and learning how to incorporate social media into their recruiting and HR strategies. They were expanding their skill sets because they knew that there were already 100 resumes that looked just like theirs scattered across recruiter’s desks. The question was, how were they going to differentiate themselves from the competition when the phone finally did ring?

The first thing that I did when I got home was create an online CV (www.visualcv.com) and post the link in my Twitter profile. I also logged into LinkedIn and updated my heading to reflect my job search status. Next I used WordPress (www.wordpress.com) to create a blog, a forum that I began using to talk about the latest developments and hot topics in recruiting. I also posted to ERE’s blog community, inviting other HR professionals to comment on my thoughts. I began visiting other HR blogs and commenting on their posts. I did anything and everything I could to expand both my skill set and professional network.

While my job offer did not come as a result of an employer reading my blog or viewing my online CV, I was able to incorporate each of these activities into my interview answers as my phone began to ring. Instead of talking about my past accomplishments, I was able to talk about my current accomplishments. In a way, shopping for curtains actually helped me find more than just a new resolve to remain relevant – it also helped me find a job.